JANUARY: BIRTH AND DEATH

Good evening! Welcome to the porch. Wonderful day today, wasn’t it? 70’s. Great day to be outside, beautiful cloudless blue sky. Perfect! Now a few days ago it was very cold and icy! But today-great.

Today is the last day of January. I am always glad when January is gone-over-then we are a little closer to spring. Anyway, January ..if I had to give it a title-a theme-a thought. January is a month of birth and death.

This was a thought I had been developing for a day or so but then after today I wanted to share. Today on the farm we had a birth! I knew birth was coming –just not in January. I have 2 sheep-Mary and Martha. When we got our little farm, got the horses, then the second year I wanted a couple of sheep. They are great at keeping the pasture clear of weeds…and will eat just about anything. Someday I’ll expand on the marvel of God’s ‘circle of life’ and how it works in such harmony. Someday I’ll also have to tell the story of how I acquired each of my critters.

Anyway, I . wanted a couple of little lambs. Couldn’t find them anywhere. I had also just acquired a little donkey..and had just visited the lady that was going to give him to me and passed a little house and there were some sheep there-little ones. I pulled in and asked the family if they had any for sale. They did. One of their sheep had just had 4 little lambs-one had already died and she had rejected one. They were bottle feeding this little lamb. I offered to buy the lamb and take her to my little farm…$20.00. I named her Mary. I bottle fed her much like one would a baby…every 2-3 hours it was interesting. I called the lady a few weeks later and said if she had any more little lambs I would like to get another one. Mary needed a little buddy. A week or so later, she called and I went and picked up Martha. Bottle feeding both of these babies was quite an experience! A year and half later I decided to get a ram and have my own little lambs. The following spring (last year) Mary and Martha each had a little lamb-March 3 Rebecca was born March 5 Samson arrived. I sold both of these little guys this past fall…just gotta be done. Anyway, today little Susanna arrived. I saw Mary pawing the ground and trying to make a little cozy place in the hay pile. She would lie down and pant and push. Get up and do it again-this went on and off for about 20 minutes. I sat down and just wanted to see the birth and ?assist?.

Anyway, this went on for about 20 minutes and then a pretty hard pant and push and I could see the head and front hooves. Lambs come out as if they are folded in half. At this point the part of the head and hooves were out and Mary got up as if she wanted this to just be over (I can relate to that!) I went over and gently pulled the lamb out and she just kinda of slid out and arrived into the world. Immediately began breathing, Mary began making soft noises to the lamb and cleaning her up. A few minutes later Mary nudged Susanna and she was struggling to get up. Up and looking for food. I got a stall ready so Mary and baby could have some shelter, privacy and be secure from the coyotes (I hope!). I took plenty of hay, fresh water and put additional fencing around the stall in hopes of keeping them in and other critters out. I also put Martha in the stall because she sure looks like she will have her own little lamb any day now. I checked on the three off and on during the afternoon ..so far so good. The little lamb is already playful, jumping around, and so far will let me hold her. Anyway January is a month of birth.

I told the Preacher I had a new baby lamb. He said, “That’s nice”. OK…..That’s about as interested as he gets in the life in the barnyard.


January a month of birth and death.


I have a sister born in January, Joe’s birthday is in January. Preacher has a couple of family members born in January. His dad’s birthday was in January…birth. Life begins… Circle of life.
Days begin to turn into years, we have our appointed days…what are we going to do with this allotment?
January is also a month of death. My friend lost her mother in January. She just got back from
PA attending the funeral of her brother-in-law. A friend recently lost his grandmother. Death…circle of life….January 30th was the 21st anniversary of my own father’s death.

21 years. My dad, a mystery, a puzzle, a man fighting his own demons-that never allowed him to enjoy this life.

This past May I had the privilege of taking a trip-just me- to visit my mom in Kentucky. While I was there we decided to take a ‘Thelma and Louse’ trip. We visited her old home place in Williamsburg, Kentucky. Ran into some of my Dad’s old relatives. We poked around in cemeteries, locating graves….digging up the past-puzzle by puzzle-piece by piece. There are still a lot of missing pieces. But, I got a little glimpse into who my dad was. Perhaps explain why he was so troubled, so driven by demons. A man of ‘constant sorrows’…..

He was the second of 2 children born to his parents. Shortly after his birth his mom died. We could not get the story straight..but as a little infant-his mother gone. The backdrop for this story was the Great Depression…add the bleakness and desperateness of Appalachia and the outlook was pretty grim. The story went….. my grandfather not being able to deal with the loss of wife, a 3 year old daughter and now an infant to raise, moved back in with his parents. This we found out per the census. However, through the years, Dad was passed from relative to relative-census records verify that as well. Story was that some of those relatives introduced Dad to Kentucky Moonshine at an early age…around 7 or 8. Dad also ‘quit’ school in the 4th grade. Story was because he didn’t have shoes and Somehow he got through the teenage years…a lost child who became a lost man who was never able to find his place in this world.

Mom knew Dad’s cousins, they were her good friends. She was visiting them and they introduced Dad and Mom. Mom said he was real shy, quiet. They would go to church together. I was so glad to hear that…Dad at least knew that although he had a rough life….God loved him. However, he allowed the alcohol to become his king….his world, his friend, ..his family and ultimately his destruction and death.

Mom said they would break up-get back together. He went into the army…they wrote letters back and forth. They got married, moved to Cincinnati…Dad got a good job at General Electric—post war boom…anybody could get a job…thank goodness. They found a little rent house on the Kentucky side…Alexandria…4 rooms and a path…much like they both grew up in. This was home for them for the next 20 years…until they were forced to move due to the landlady wanting the house for her relatives.

Dad drunk more and more as the years went by until alcohol consumed his whole being. He never expressed any emotion-except anger, aloofness, so distant. Him and mom fighting, things being broken, thrown, physical abuse, fear-what would he say or do next. Never enough money for food, clothes-not because Dad didn’t have a good job-but alcohol ate up his money – alcohol was his mistress, his family, his god. It drove him to madness and spur Dad into shooting a gun at Mom…I remember hiding Mom from him, him locking her out of the house in the dead of winter after he had torn her clothes off….me at 6 years old…running ..hiding…. begging God..’if you are really there…make him stop!” Minutes later …hearing him stumble to his bed and passing out. Going to court, the judge putting him on probation…praying dad would not stumble into the church on my wedding day…the one time I was grateful he was passed out… hoping he stay that way until after the wedding….
Dad 3rd DWI’, license revoked…driving anyway-to get his alcohol, warnings at work…;'glassy eyed’……clean up his act or lose his job…..drunk, passed out on steps, in cars, in the front yard….until one Friday morning drunk…and fell off the porch…breaking several veterbra in his neck..Operations, therapy, 3 months in the hospital…walking again but never fully recovering…never to work again, drive again…but drinking continued. More drinking, 3 stints in AA….drinking, fighting…I’m long gone, married, but visits always ruined or a constant living in fear of what he would do…what ugliness would come out of his mouth..finally the seizures
begin..in hospitals, out, until finally a doctor tells him…if you take another drink you’ll be dead….in VA hospital again…another seizure and vomiting, choking on his own vomit and now brain dead…he’s alive but doctor’s tell us…he’s not there…on life support….until ‘plug pulled’ and he’s gone….January 30…. only 59 years old…looked 79….hard life, lonely life, sad life, miserable life, wasted life-never knowing his children, never once telling them he loved them, not caring if they ate or had clothes to wear, were they cold? were they embarrassed to have friends know who he was and where they lived? His emotions, his feelings, so seared by alcohol…not seeing the pain he caused…not caring?

Preacher and my mom were the last ones to see him and talk to him before the final seizure…Preacher asked him to pray with him…told Preacher he had been praying….that night his final seizure…the last time he would open his eyes, the last time his body would crave the poison alcohol, the last time he would breathe on his own the last time the demons would haunt and taunt him……..…he hung between life and death for several days….until he was released to life, to meet God and be set free from his demons.

January…a time of birth, living and death. We all have a given number of days on this earth…God has a plan for us-it’s good-it’s a plan for us to succeed-to excel…Satan has a plan too-to destroy, steal and kill…we have our part…we choose…to live in victory or be a victim. My Dad chose to be a victim …a victim of circumstances, a victim of bitterness, a victim of Satan’s snares and traps. I chose to break that curse in my life….I chose to live in victory that is found in having Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Victim or victory….looks like a ‘no brainer’ choice…as you leave the front porch today…think about where you are in your journey…..don’t allow anything to make you a victim….remember you are a victor because of Him….He allowed Himself to be a victim…to be beat, humiliated, humbled, bruised, abused…..so we don’t have to be………

Until next time…from my front porch to yours…. choose life and walk in victory that He has granted to each of us………