Thursday, January 24, 2013

"When it's all said and done....what will be said and done?"


This week is moving right along…Thursday…here on the Front Porch….

 

Today’s word is EULOGIZE.  Interesting word…usually associated with death…funerals…means to speak or write in commendation of another, celebrate, applaud, compliment, appreciate.

Let’s talk about the words that will be spoken of us when it’s all said and done, when we are gone, when our journey here on earth ends.  EULOGIZE.

What will ‘they’…as in family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances….have to say on our behalf at our funeral or memorial service.  Oh, perhaps the ‘formal’ presentation will say things like good father, good neighbor, good husband, good provider…good bowler…

The Preacher was called upon to conduct a funeral service many years ago.  Young lady came to the church, had some small children.  Her husband did not come to church…too busy with his hobbies and work and just did not see the need.  This was back in the day when the CB craze was the in thing (some of you younger ones will say ‘what’?).

This wife’s husband and her brother were putting up a high powered CB antenna on his roof.  Something went awry.  Something went very wrong.  Somehow the antenna came in contact with an electrical wire and POW…the husband and brother were gone…instantly...just like that…not a moment to consider life or death, make things ‘right’..say goodbye to family…put affairs in order.  GONE…as can happen to any of us, at any time in oh, so many ways.  Heart attack, car accident, crazed gunmen shooting up the place we just happen to be in…think you get the point.  Here one moment, gone the next.

Preacher went to talk to this young widow, who lost her husband and brother so tragically, so suddenly in this bizarre accident.  Not knowing the young men, neither one, he asked the wife about her husband’s life…what could the Preacher say at his funeral...EULOGIZE.

To Preacher’s dismay and surprise, the young widow stumbled around, trying to find something to say…now Preacher expected a variety of responses…but all she could think of was ‘he was a good bowler’…that was it…nothing more.  Preacher prayed with the widow, gave her words of comfort, completed the arrangements for the funeral and left…shook up, saddened and shocked that someone’s life could be summed up with only 5 words…’he was a good bowler’…nothing more.  Somehow Preacher got through the funeral…but he and I determined…to live a ‘lifestyle’ in such a way that more could be said about us than ‘he was a good bowler’.

So, my friend, what will be said about you after you have taken your last breath, closed your eyes for the final time, after your soul escapes your broken, tired body and you are laid to rest….No, not the soul…if you are saved and know Jesus as your Savior…your life just begins…rejoicing, shouting, hooping, hollering and jumping, leaping….whoohooo.. Graduation Day!

The shell, the cage, the container, the instrument you were given to house your soul, and how you used it will be EULOGIZED.

What will be said of you?  Were you nice, sweet, kind, good and helpful?  Or, will you be remembered as the grumpy, grouchy, grouse person?  Were you one, who loved God, loved family and loved country? Or were you the abuser, user, adulterer, heart breaker, home wrecker? Perhaps you were a promise keeper, hard worker, provider for family, made time for friends and family. Maybe the one who was stingy, grabbing, cheating, stealing, untrustworthy, unreliable, lazy, looking for that handout, others to pay your way...were you looking for someone to give, give and give again-never satisfied with anything or anyone.  Or will you be known as the giver, caring for family, God’s creation, blessing His name, His servant, His handmaiden, trustworthy, steady, and true? Were you faithful and a lover of God? Or were you disobedient, a blasphemer?

EULOGIZE…the formal speech will probably be full of ‘filler material’…generalizations about life, death…kinda like a ‘canned, prepared speech’…could be said about anybody. This EULOGIZING is usually positive and comforting to friends and families.  BUT, the real test is what is thought by friends and family. What is said in hushed tones between friends and family?

EULOGIZE…your story, your life summed up in 20-30 minutes…Your song, your allotted time here on earth...what are you choosing to do with it?  Squander, waste, hide it away or are you using it wisely: back to UTILIZE...using what is in your hand, what you have been given to work with while here on earth.

Every one of us has a story…it is ours and ours alone…no one else has one like it…even family members cannot share your story.  It is as unique as we are.  We write it, add to it, minute by minute, action and reaction, experiences, successes and failures. Our story.  Good, bad; we do; good, bad; done to us.  It is all written and woven; our life, our story.

Along the way we encounter people, places and problems that can help mold us, shape us or break us. Stuff tries to destroy us; wounds, sometimes deep, damaging wounds…which become scars.  Battle scars, wounded, bruised, battered, neglected, and abused.  ALL of us have ‘issues’ of one type or another.  These experiences become part of our story…woven into who we are, what we are, why we are.  Abusers usually beget abusers, alcoholics beget alcoholics, grumps beget grumps…think you get the picture…so along our life and in writing our story for our eulogy…allow the good and bad to ‘work together for our good’ as our Lord instructed.  Even the worst of situations, on the most horrible day…. all can blend together and some good come out of it-eventually.

Preacher recommended a book for me to read. Neither he nor I usually read this particular author.  BUT, Preacher is always interested in books about presidents-especially JFK…was there a conspiracy? Was there a second-third shooter?  Anyway, the book. 11/23/63 by Stephen King. Yep. The Stephen King.  This is a different venue for King...no snarling rabid dogs, no fire starting, burning everyone, up teenager, no murdering car…

It’s a book about time travel-going back in time and righting the wrongs, stopping events-tragic ones from occurring. I am still working on it…but the premise is live the life you are dealt…let it mold you into the person you are meant to be for even the most tragic events can become something of value in our life.  Somehow, the main character goes back to 1963 to intervene in the JKF assassination and put a few other wrongs right…and the result is tragedy…Worst than what actually happened the first time around. Perhaps when I finish the book I can give you more of my take on this.

So in our story-our life-we are going to have scars…battle wounds…things that hurt us to the core, but we become better for enduring and surviving them.

EULOGIZE…the story…the scars…become our song…the final verse of our life…the summary the eulogy.

So when it is all said and done…what have you said and done with your life.  Much like the parable of the talents we talked about a few days ago...utilizing…prioritizing, organizing…our life is about those ‘ize’ words and many more…remember suffix ‘ize’ means to cause to be.

In a few short days it will be another anniversary of my father’s death.  I wrote about his tragic life on a blog about a year ago.  This time of the year always brings memories to the surface…usually unpleasant.  I cannot recall, few, if any good memories of my father. 

If I had to EULOGIZE his life:

‘a lost boy, who became a lost man, who never found his place in this world’.

He had a story, like we all do, but he never allowed the wounds he received as a child to ever heal…the wounds of abandonment, poverty, alcoholism at an early age, low self-esteem,

just to name a few, to never heal.

 The wounds were re-opened again and again throughout his life.  His story became alcohol and the more the better. He never did discover his song...never was able to ‘sing’ about anything good about his life.  If anything, he left a sad legacy of alcoholic children, dysfunctional, lost in their own scars and feelings of abandonment…

EULOGIZE…when it is done…what is going to be said about us?

Something to think about…as you leave the Front Porch…

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