IT IS APPOINTED.......

The picture featured today is from a little family cemetery just a stone’s throw from our house.  It is a little local family cemetery.  Lots of little children buried in it.  The grandkids always want to get out our walking sticks and visit the little cemetery.  They are intrigued by its somberness, its quietness, the stillness and the reminder that life is short.  Life is fleeting.   Life is a vapor.  We have our allotted days….to treasure and use wisely.  How long do we get??  Some are allotted more days than others.  No matter how many days you are assigned…...cherish them.  Treasure them.  Find the goodness in each and every one.  Because all too soon….life here on earth will be gone.  A memory. …..

But if we have asked Jesus to be our Savior, when our time is up, then we will be gloriously swept into His gates eternal. What a deal!   What a Promise!  What a retirement plan….simply out of this world……

Lately, I have been pondering and musing on my own father’s passing.  For it was 26 years ago at this time that his life…his time…..his allotment….his assignment was over.  I am going to post the rest of my ponderings and musings on my blog from the front porch.  If you want, get a cup of coffee, hot tea and come join me and sit a spell…

It is appointed unto man..........once to die.  Not your most pleasant topic on this weekend…but nevertheless it is something we all need to think about.  Some scoff and say ‘when it’s over..it’s over….dust to dust….rust to rust….the end is the end.’  We avoid this topic, deny it, put it off, pretend it will never come our way….but it does…...sooner or later…we all face death.  Sinner or saint, good or bad, beautiful or ugly, strong or weak, ready or not…it will come and then we are promised our eternal reward…a lot of unknowns.. a great deal of mystery, mystic, musings and misconceptions.    To know the truth and the whole truth …go to the Manual…the Last Word, the Only Word…the Final Answer…the Bible.  Enough said.

If we believe even one jot, one thought, one theme, one thread that holds the Bible as God’s Word…then where you will spend eternity should be a matter of great consideration.  Hopefully, surely, armed with the Truth, we can come to the right conclusion of the whole matter.

This past Sunday, the, Preacher gave a thought provoking sermon, “Rich Man, Poor Man".  This thought came from the book of  Luke 16:19-31.  The summary is…the rich man had everything on earth he could desire.  He had finery.  Food, clothes, shelter beyond compare.  But he forgot to take care of the most valuable thing he owned: his soul. 

Lazarus, on the other hand was a beggar.  He had nothing.  No home. No food, except for the crumbs that fell from the rich man’s table.  Rags hung on his body. Dogs licked the sores oozing from his sick, tired, weak, pain filled body.  Hmmm ….and we think we are having a bad day???  But Lazarus was rich in the Goodness of the Lord.  When he died he was found immediately in the Presence.

The rich man found himself in the bowels of hell.

 Why did Lazarus suffer so???  If he trusted God, loved God and when he died he was ushered into His Glorious Presence…then WHY WHY WHY??? 

Sorry, I don’t have the answers to why he suffered, why I suffer, why you suffer, why children suffer, why the innocent along with the guilty suffer so.  Well, now that I think of it, I do have one conclusion, one three letter word that set this whole earth rocking, reeling and churning.  SIN.  Look in the book of Genesis Chapter 3….and because of what happened there…we are under a cloud, a curse, a course. 

BUT, the HOPE, the CURE, the ANSWER is also found in that Chapter…Not all doom and gloom.  Genesis 3:15…the first Promise of the Promise.

Well, back to my own father.  Little guy born in the hills of Kentucky 1927…long time ago… Second of two children,  he had an older sister.  But, like happens so often.  Tragedy struck and his mother died….he was just a toddler, a tiny tike, a little towheaded two year old.  For reasons I will never know, he then became a ward of which every family member could/would take care of him…he was traded around like an old car, an old dog….given the same importance and status as an old dog.  Who will take this child off my hands??  His dad unable to be a man, ‘man,  up’, in essence, threw this little guy and his sister to the wind, to the wolves…..to the whirlwind.  It does not excuse the man my own father grew up to be…but it certainly did not help form, shape and mold him; which is what a parent is suppose to do…oh and did I mention love?  Who will love the children?

I have heard that if we are given this type of atmosphere to live, move and breathe in…that we cannot see our own value and self-worth.  It is as if we are living in someone’s else’s house with someone else’s things.  In other words, we are what other people say, think, how they treat and value us.  We are lost, languishing and longing for someone to love us…just as we are, love us, even with all our imperfections, warts...and all.....accept us for who we are.    

Well, needless to say Dad never found his place in this world (thank you very much Michael W. Smith).  He quit school in the fourth grade…word was he had no shoes, no decent clothes, little or no food.  A little waif wondering, wandering, bewildered and forgotten.

Word…from his own mouth as told to my mom ..for you see my dad never once spoke to me or my other 7 siblings a word, never gave us a nod, or even a look.... UNLESS he was roaring drunk and threatening us, bullying us, beating someone….and doing other unspeakable acts of cruelty,……the demons he acquired through his own hurts, abandonment and bewilderment…continued to rule, reign and eventually destroy his body, soul and spirit. I could go on to the miseries he chose to share with us…but enough said.

Oh, back to the word…..as he shared with my mom…which was rare as the only thing he shared for the most part was cussing, and accusations and threatenings….anyway…along the way this little lost boy was introduced to Kentucky moonshine.  Homemade whiskey…..evil stuff….why? Because it was so cool and fun to see a little guy so drunk and high, stumbling, slobbering and stammering like a drunken fool.  And that is the legacy of that little abandoned boy…a stumbling, slobbering, stammering drunken fool.

Year after year untold sufferings, pain, sorrow, abject poverty because he had a very cruel master: the bottle.  That master finally broke him and at age 59, on a cold January day 26 years ago, while suffering an alcoholic seizure, he chocked on his own vomit and as a result was rendered ‘brain dead’.  A few days later he was gone.  Now before I hand you a box of tissues, a handkerchief…..there is a glimmer of hope.  You see God still loved this stumbling, slobbering, stammering drunken fool.  God knew every pain, physical and emotional this man had endured……

The Preacher, aka, my husband, shortly before the beginning of the end….was led to go talk to my dad and lead him to salvation…….and he prayed with the Preacher……..God is so good……I know with that prayer my dad finally found peace.  I know he finally found love…..he finally found hope.    

Unfortunately, it did not, could not undo the legacy of alcoholism it left behind.  The 8 children, of which I am the oldest, have had our own demons to fight.  Our own feelings of abandonment, bewilderment, anger, bitterness, low self-esteem.  Struggles that as children we should not have had to endure: hunger, cold, shame, pain, misery..…….all because of a bottle which became such a battle, binding and blinding my dad to his own potential. 

So my friend, in one horrible incident of which I will spare you the details, I must have been 7-8….I didn’t know God…..but in my own fear and horror I remember crying out “God!, if you are there…please make him stop!”   And He did.  It was if my angel came and punched my dad out…for he turned, looked around and passed out…right then and there.  I remember crying and vowing…”God I will never drink…never…never….never’, nor will I ever, ever marry a man who does.”  

So, if I bow out of gatherings-family-friends-otherwise…..it is not because I do not care about you and those things you are celebrating…I just know that as for me and my house…….we will serve the Lord,,, of which alcohol will not, does not have a place….too many memories……

One final thought before I get up and get on with my Saturday chores…animals to feed, dishes to do and errands to run.

Sometimes, oh sometimes, I just wonder what my life would have been without the suffering.  What kind of man could my dad have been?

But, I have to capture that thought, that imagination….and realize that God had a plan and every trial, tribulation, temptation I have endured has made into the person I am…..and He is still working….every time I think ‘well, what else is buried deep in my soul that can now be cleansed?’    Well, some new junk, trash and debris come to surface….to deal with…and God is faithful, gently washing it, cleansing it with the Blood of the Lamb……

With the Blessed Hope and Precious Promise my God has given us…..I look forward to someday actually ‘meeting’ my Dad.  You see not one time did he smile, look at us or give us a hug……but in Heaven I know that along with other loved ones, I can finally look at my Dad and he will look back at me and say, “I love you’ and finally give me a much overdue and long awaited…hug’……something to think about

 Until next time…hey, I am working  on a thought…the Deadly D’s…..stop by in few days and rest a spell and we can talk again real soon on the front porch..........................